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Date: February 27, 2010

Books & DVDs Kingdom Chums by SQuire Rushnell Read Our Letter To Parents When God Winks on New Beginnings by SQuire Rushnell When God Winks by SQuire Rushnell When God Winks on Love by SQuire Rushnell When God Winks on You by SQuire Rushnell

I was 20 years old and pregnant. I didn't want to have a baby. I never babysat for extra cash and I never changed a diaper. I knew the father of my child wouldn't be there for me just like his father was never there for him. I also knew that my parents most likely wouldn't talk to me for my irresponsible behavior in getting pregnant. I was terrified and didn't know what to do. I was afraid of having a baby but I was also afraid for my soul. I went to my pastor at the time and sought his advice. He said that he couldn't tell me what to do, but that I should pray about it. He said not just any prayer, talk to god the way I was speaking to him, ask for a unmistakable sign and give a deadline.

I made a plan that I would follow what I wanted and then allow God to stop me if it was not the right choice for me. My first thought was to have an abortion. I called the local Planned Parenthood and scheduled a pregnancy test. I filled out lots of paperwork and took a urine test. They gave me a piece of paper that verified that I was pregnant. They told me that I would need it for my next appointment and that if I didn't have with me at that time they couldn't provide services. I spoke with a counselor for at least 30 minutes. They wanted to make sure that I wouldn't regret my decision and told me all about adoption and other support services for young single mothers. In all, I spent at least an hour there (that's important to know). I made my decision and scheduled an abortion. I had two weeks to wait.

I prayed that night and I spoke candidly with God. I told him my fears of being a single mom with no family support, fears for having a baby that I knew in the end wouldn't have a dad, and my fears for my soul if I had an abortion and how God would consider me if I had one. I asked for a clear sign, one I couldn't mistake for a coincidence and I needed it before my appointment. I explained to God how I really was too scared to have a baby so I would be inclined to mistake a little sign with a coincidence.

A week went by with no sign. So I kept on schedule for my appointment. A few days before my appointment, I couldn't find my pregnancy slip. I knew I needed it and really didn't consider that a sign from heaven. I just was just being irresponsible again. I went down to the same Planned Parenthood that I took the pregnancy test to get another copy. When I got there, the lady that had been so kind to me didn't recognize me at all, they had no record of my pregnancy test, none of the paperwork that I filled out and the counselor that I spent time with didn't recognize me either. I couldn't believe it. I was stunned and so I just left.

I had received the answer to my prayer in the biggest way possible. How can they not remember? I was terrified but I now knew my path, I was going to have a baby based on faith. I found my slip after I had her and laughed and put it in her baby book where it sits today. Eighteen years later, I have a beautiful, talented daughter. I had so much fun raising her. Today, she's a college student and plays on a Division One softball team. She knew from the time she was 5 years old that she wanted to be a teacher and is currently a School of Education student.

My family was there for me and helped me to raise her and fill her with enough love and support to create such a wonderful young lady. She never knew her dad, but my dad made her feel like she always had one. She knows our faith story. She's knows she's a present from God to her mother and how lucky we are to have one another. And now she knows she's a God's wink at a mother.

On Christmas this year, Makayla gave me your book and wrote a note about God winking at her. It read "Mom, God winked at you when I came into your life and he's winked in mine. When I saw this book I thought of you. I thought since you wouldn't have me without a wink, I should give you this story with a whole bunch of winks just to remind you that they are always out there. I love you. Merry Christmas."

I feel so blessed to have this story to share with you.

Kim